


Alias

by EJ_Writes



Category: Green Eggs and Ham (Cartoon), Green Eggs and Ham - Dr. Seuss
Genre: (partners in crime), Adventure, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Guy's totally not jealous, M/M, No explicit content but rating may change depending on what's mentioned, Pining, Sam's old exes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EJ_Writes/pseuds/EJ_Writes
Summary: Sam and Guy are now back on the road to find Sam's mom! But, an unexpected encounter proves the endeavor more difficult than they originally thought. After their first meeting with one of Sam's old partners, they find out that there are people who will stop at nothing to prevent Sam from making it to East Flubria. But, is the past something that they truly wish to uncover? Who is to be trusted? Will Sam and Guy finally get over their constant flirting?
Relationships: Guy Am I & Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham), Guy Am I/Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 107





	1. Back on the Road!

**Author's Note:**

> This first part introduces Sam's first partner and provides exposition for the entire story. I'm hoping to have the second part up soon since it's closely tied to the first. Enjoy!

Sam had never been so happy in his life.

The Chickeraffe was safe, E.B. and Michellee we’re living harmoniously at home and, most importantly, he was traveling around the world with his bestest buddy IN the world to find his mom. Perhaps you could even say Guy was his U.I.T.B (Ultimate International Travel Buddy). 

“C’mon, god I swear you’ll always find a way to make us late to anything.” Guy’s melodious voice pulled Sam out of his deep thinking. He shakes his head.

“Sorry! Just thinkin’ ‘bout all the fun times we’re gonna have, U.I.T.B”

“Let me guess-”

“Ultimate International Travel Buddy” They both said at the same time.

“Ghee, who would’ve guessed.” 

Normally, Guy’s words would’ve thrown Sam into an anxious spiral worrying about whether he was getting annoying but Guy’s small smirk was enough to reassure him that he had nothing to worry about. Guy would never leave him. Not like-

“HEY! URG! WHAT THE YIP?!” 

“What? What happened?” Sam said somewhat in relief.

“Someone switched our tickets! Instead of saying ‘from Glurfsburg to New Sneetchville’ it says ‘to Glurfsburg’ from here. Probably happened when we sat down to eat.”

Sam patted Guy on the back and sidled close to him.

“Hey, hey, don’t worry about it. I’m sure we can just go back to a help desk and see if we can get another copy of our tickets. We may be late but there’s always time when you’re with Sam-I-Am.” He winks just for good measure while guiding Guy in the right direction. Not that he’s trying to flirt. No, not at all. He could never-

“Man if Michellee heard you say that I’m sure she’d be having an aneurysm.” 

And there it was. 

The words that always put a pang in Sam’s fragile little heart. Guy keeps saying that Michellee and him just decided to be friends but Sam just couldn’t get over the fact that maybe, just maybe-

“For as much as you talk about Michellee, I’d believe that you’re no where near over her.”

“How many times do I have to say it. Michellee and I were never a thing. I don’t have to be over her ‘cause there’s nothing for me to GET over in the first place. We thought we wanted something but realized that we’re not as healthy together as we thought we were. A relationship would’ve just made it much worse.” 

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” No matter how many times Guy said it, Sam could never truly believe that it was over. He was just too scared. Too scared of the beating in his heart, of the thoughts in his head,

Of the sweet but fleeting love.

“Anyway, why don’t you talk about any of your past ‘loves’.” Guy says surprisingly flirtatiously.

“Pfffftt! Oh, I’m sure you don’t wanna hear about any of those-. . .Huh” Sam gasps as rush of wind glides pass him. He didn’t quite catch a glimpse of who it was but he could recognize that blue fur anywhere. 

He whispers.

“Theo?” 

“Ah? What did you say Sam?” Guy stopped in his tracks to examine Sam closely. He was standing in awe. Staring into space while keeping a loose grip on his matching briefcase. 

“Sam? Sam!”

“Wh-what? What’s going on!” 

“W-I don’t know. You just stopped walking and started staring into space.” 

“Oh, um, it’s nothing. I just. . .thought I saw someone.”

“You sure it’s fine? You look pretty spooked.” Sam faltered for a second but then returned to his ever loving charismatic self. There was no way that was him. It’s been years.

“Haha, yeah! Don’t worry ‘bout it. Look, the help desk is right over there!” Sam points to the desk which harbors an older looking lady, tired, and unenthusiastic. As Guy tries his best to explain what happened to their tickets, Sam felt another rush of wind followed by a light rustling of his bag. He knew what this is-

He sprung back. “AH! THEO!” 

Caught in his tracks, the blue haired man had no where else to turn and slowly removed his hand from the briefcase. 

“Wow, Is that really you Sam? Or should I say, the Furry Foot Bandit? Or wait, is it Sham Shamford now? Gee, feels like it’s been forever.” He said.

“Dump the pleasantries, Theo. What are you doing here and why are you trying to steal my bag?” Guy was so confused. He looked back and forth between the two but struggled to figure out what the tension was all about. His eyes settled on Sam’s serious expression.

“Sam, who is this and how do you know their name?” But before Sam could respond, Theo began to walk closer. Sam backed away slowly.

“I’m here as a sort of warning if you will.”

“Ha!” Sam laughed. “Why should I ever trust you again? I learned my lesson years ago.” 

“Because I know that you’re trying to find your mother and I know exactly where she is.” 

“Uh yeah, she’s in East Flubria making THE BEST green eggs for my favorite dish. Pffft! Anyone could’ve figured that out.” Sam looked in Guy’s direction but for some reason, he felt that this wasn’t anything to joke about. Theo continued.

“No, you don’t get it. She’s not just there to make green eggs.”

Sam shakes his head. “Theo, you’re not making any sense.”

“I’m here to stop you. No matter what you do, you can’t go looking for your mom in East Flubria. It’s not s-“ 

“OK now there you go again Theo. I KNEW I couldn’t trust you. I mean, why did I even waste my time. You never cared about me before and you certainly don’t care about me now. I mean, how do you even know about my mom? I never told you why I was at the orphanage.”

Theo stood shocked, staring in silence, but the security rushing their way told him that he’d better start moving. He started walking backwards before launching into a full sprint. But, not before uttering his last words.

“Just don’t go to East Flubria, whatever you do, _**don't**_ go there. Or I will stop you.” 

Guy didn’t know what was going on but he had a bad feeling about that ‘Theo’. Before departing, he thanked the help desk lady for calling security and followed Sam as he started in the other direction.

“WAIT! Where are you going?” Guy asked.

“We can’t stay here. If we hop on a cold air balloon, Theo _**will** _follow us. I’m gonna go buy a ticket for a train across the country.” Guy knew that that would add days onto their trip but when he looked into Sam’s eyes, he was tense and vulnerable. 

Just like back at the tent. 

He decided that a few days was worth it for his favorite person in the world. Yet, one question still nagged him.

“Who **_was_** that guy?” 

Sam paused and took a big gulp.

“That was Theo. My first partner in crime.” 


	2. The Furry Foot Bandit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Guy’s foolish activities quickly turn into a night of heartbreak and comfort. This is the story behind Theo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for getting this out so late. In all honestly, college apps have been, as you say, whopping my butt. School’s been rough but hopefully the worst is behind me now. I’ll try not to make empty promises anymore.

_ TWACK _

A pillow was smashed into Guy’s face as he entered the sleeping chamber on the train. There go his plans for a peaceful evening. Might as well head to the quiet car now.

“What’re you doing Sam?” He asked.

Sam paused his enthusiastic trampolining on the top bunk to grab another pillow.

“Why hello there my S.P.B!  _ Slumber Party Buddy. I  _ was just enjoying the wonderful commodities that this great establishment has to offer.” 

“Well could you do it a little more quietly? I have a headache.” 

“Why of course.  _ Buuuuut. . .  _ Y’know what’ll turn that frown upside down?” 

“A good nights rest?” Guy said hoping that it wouldn’t be what he was thinking.

Sam shakes his head. “No, THIS!” 

Guy should have seen it coming. I mean, he might as well have been a clown for not seeing it. But still, out of nowhere, a pillow was smooshed on top of his head as he felt two furry feet launch off of him and onto the floor. 

Normally, Guy would’ve just grumbled and lumbered onto the bottom bunk but Sam was surprised to see him stand there silently. He held his head down menacingly as a slight smirk crawled across his face. 

“You’re gonna get it now.” Guy quickly grabbed his pillow and lunged it towards Sam. Soon, only a yellow fur ball was all he could see slam along the window and slide slowly down to the floor. Sam then quickly launched back up to retaliate.

This went on for the next half hour. Sam hitting Guy and him hitting right back. Sam would’ve never imagined this happening just a few months ago. Yet here Guy was, opening up to him. Sam only wished that he could be brave enough to do the same.

When it was all done, the two were sprawled on Guy’s bed, panting at the ceiling. 

“Well, well, well. Look who suddenly got in the spirit.” Sam smirked. 

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” Guy said as he ruffled Sam’s hair.

He didn’t want to admit it, but Guy would rather die than see Sam unhappy. It just breaks his heart.

Then, Guy remembered Sam’s expression at the cold air balloon port. Seriousness was plastered on his face with a hint of sadness. Guy couldn’t stand it. He wanted an answer. 

He needed an answer. 

“Sam?” 

“Y~essss my wonderful Guy.”

“. . . Who is Theo?” 

Guy felt his heart break as Sam’s face fell. However, before that look could linger on his face, he quickly popped a smile up and looked back at Guy.

“Oh c’mom Guy. You don’t wanna hear about all that. It’s from such a long time ago. It’s just-“

“ No! Sam, I know when you’re trying to hide something. I’ve known you for too long for you to keep hiding things from me. Even though it’s been just a few months, I- I- . . . I feel like we’ve been together for years. I’ve never been this close to any one. Just  _ please,  _ open up to me.” 

Sam knew that everything Guy said was right. He was doing it again.  _ Damnit _ . He was driving another partner away. He couldn’t lose Guy’s trust again. 

He couldn’t go through  _ that  _ again.

“A long time ago, back at the orphanage, Theo and I were . . . friends.” Guy noticed Sam’s gaze going off to the distance. 

“Hey-“ Guy said. “Look at me. Don’t be embarrassed.” And Guy’s smile was all he needed. Slyly, Sam snuzzled into Guy’s arm as he propped himself up against the bedpost. 

Guy chuckled.

“Well, we used to cause  _ all _ of the mischief around the orphanage.” 

Guy smiled “Somehow I’m not surprised.”

“Haha yeah, well, you’d think that made me cool but I wasn’t actually very popular. In fact, I got made fun of a lot.”

“For what?” 

Sam just gestured up and down vertically across his body. Guy got the message.

“That’s why I was so obsessed with tracking my height. I’m pretty sure Theo knew that I wasn’t getting any taller but he humored me just so I could be happy. And don’t even mention the beating he’d give to anyone that bullied me. It stopped quickly because of him.”

“Sounds like a real savior.” Something that Guy could only hope to be to him. 

“Yeah, he was.” Sam smiles slightly. “Until- . . . until-“ Suddenly, Sam’s speech was breaking.

He was crying. 

Guy couldn’t stand to see it. At this point, all he could do was hold him close. So that’s what he did. 

“Keep going.” Guy said. 

Sam swallowed a knot in his throat.

“Our pranks grew bigger and bigger. At first it was just stealing something from the kitchen at night but before I knew it, we were planning capers from the local grocer. Of course, this was all just supplies for the orphanage. We never really got enough.”

“Eventually, we grew close, like,  _ real  _ close. I had never felt that way about anyone before. I- I loved him.” Guy’s eyes shot up. It’s not like he was surprised. He was pretty sure that Sam liked men but he never really thought too hard about it. To be honest, he was more surprised by the fact that Sam had fallen in love before he met h-

Well, just before in general.

“Oooohhh so there were others.” Guy smirked.

“HA HA yeah I’m not soulless like you.” Guy knew he was joking but for some reason, he had an urge to prove Sam wrong.

He ignored it.

“Anyway, Theo started to kinda reciprocate I guess. He even wrote me letters. Cheesy, I know, but I loved it. I loved the feeling of being wanted. Once I even left one of his letters at a crime scene. He wrote ‘To: The Furry Foot Bandit’ on it. It was a pet name that he used all the time. Next thing I know, the police are out with posters with that name on it.”

“I wanted to show him how much I loved his attention so I decided to steal something for him. Nothing serious, just a little something from the grocery store. Except, the police caught me fleeing the crime scene. I was lucky that I was only 17. They let me off with a warning but my houseparents still found out. Later that day, they questioned Theo and I.”

“I confessed to everything but he-“ Sam’s eyebrows furrowed. “Theo denied it. Said that the police weren’t looking for  _ him  _ so he shouldn’t be held accountable.” 

Guys fists clenched. They clenched so tightly that they made marks right through his fur and onto his skin. But then, he felt a small, furry, palm over his. 

“That’s not right.” Guy said.

“I know. I know. But don’t waste your energy on him. Also, I’m not done.” What other terrible things could there be? 

“My houseparents argued for a while about what to do with me. I hadn’t been arrested but I had had many more offenses before this one. They came to the conclusion to kick me out. Usually they wouldn’t do that to a trouble maker but I was about to turn 18 anyway and I proved to be too much trouble than it was worth. There was no way that I was gonna be adopted at that point.”

“I screamed as they dragged me onto the street. I screamed so hard tears were falling on the pavement. But Theo just stood there and turned away. He wasn’t gonna give me attention anymore. 

He was done with me.” Sam was full on crying at this point. Guy wanted to tell him to stop but he decided that it would be better for him to just let it all out. He needed this catharsis.

No words were exchanged. Guy just held onto his waste tightly as Sam curled into him, sniffling. 

  
  


Guy woke up to a yellow fur ball sprawled across his belly. As much as he liked spending the night with Sam, somehow it’s always end with them in this position. 

Not that Guy was complaining. 

He tried his best to slide off the bed without waking his sleeping companion but failed as he fumbled to the ground. Sam awoke to a large crash.

“AH! WHAT WAS THAT!” Then his gaze was brought down. “Oh it’s just you.”

“Uh yeah, it  _ just  _ me.” Guy glared at Sam as he sprung up and grabbed his toothbrush (or should he say  _ their  _ toothbrush. He still didn’t know if Sam was using his.)

“C’mon, if you don’t get up now we’ll be late for breakfast.” 

“Uh,  _ I  _ wasn’t the one sleeping in.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever.”

“I don’t even want breakfast. I’m fine here.” Guy huffed as he crossed his arms.

“Oh! So you don’t want Green eggs and ham?” Sam’s eyes waggled as he pointed his toothbrush towards Guy.

He pursed his lips “. . . Let’s just get going”

“ WA HOO! That’s my guy!” 

  
  


As the two walked out of their door, they got some funny looks from passersby. Guy couldn’t exactly put his finger on it but it probably had something to do with Sam’s blissful expression and disheveled fur. 

“Hey, could you fix your face for a second? Or better yet your fur?” Guy whispered.

Sam shrugged. “ _ I  _ have no Idea what you’re talking about.” 

Guy was about to make a clever retort until his phone rang. As he ruffled through his pocket Sam halted. He would’ve asked what was wrong with him but the Caller ID flashed a familiar name.

It was Michellee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooooo sooospense. I wonder which partner could be next.

**Author's Note:**

> Backstory in Chapter 2!


End file.
